14 Celebs in Need of a Stylist

14. Victoria Beckham

Finally, another example of a model who frequently dresses well. Wait, you say, this is a list of celebs who seriously need a stylist. If she usually looks good, then her stylist is doing a good job, right? Well, that depends on what you consider a good job. If you were a celebrity stylist, would you ever let your client go out looking like this:

If this was for a show, that would be one thing. But this is her going out. This is also her wearing a trash bag, complete with twistie tie around the waist. ::Sigh:: Victoria, for someone who usually looks so good, you really outdid yourself here. Sure, she’d look good with a sack of potatoes on, but when you can do better, people expect it. To not fire her stylist after this would be an injustice to the world of fashion.

13. Molly Sims

Here’s yet another model with questionable fashion sense. How, with all the options available to them, can a model sometimes look so bad? True, Molly doesn’t always look bad — on many occasions, she’s looked marvelous. But isn’t a stylist’s job to make sure their client looks tip top every time they go out? If so, Molly needs a new one.

How can anyone justify this dress? You could dress impeccably every day for five straight years, and wearing this just once would ruin your reputation. Beyond the boringly hideous polka dots, that collar is atrocious. What, does she want it to engulf her entire neck? Ick. It’s tough to get this taste out of your mouth. She looks like Cruella De Vil wearing one of the Dalmations.

12. Fergie

Apparently taking a page out of Mary-Kate’s book, Fergie dons the uber-short one-piece. It would look like a nightgown if it was long enough. There is absolutely nothing flattering about this outfit. But hey, by wearing so little, she’s doing a knock-up job of attracting dirty old men. Lord knows she’s not attracting anyone else. Except maybe those pervs who like to have sex with women while they sleep.

Some people may look at this and say “well, that’s not so bad.” Maybe it’s not. Maybe we’re being too critical. But doesn’t she look like she’s in search of the boogie woogie bugle boy from Company B? Hey, at least we didn’t go with the picture of her having peed herself on stage. Now that would have been embarrassing.

11. Avril Lavigne

When Avril started out on the music scene, here wardrobe was pretty simplistic. Yeah, the “punk” thing is overdone, but at least she had a style and stuck with it. Then she turned into more of a pop princess. Her clothes became a bit more chic, though she still rocked the tie (opinions vary on that, but really, it doesn’t look too good).

And then came this gem. Wearing a dress and combat boots? Strike one. Wearing that dress? Strike two. The hair and makeup? Strike three, Avril, you’re out. In ten years, we’re going to look back at this picture and laugh. In ten years, Avril will look back at this picture and cry. And then she’ll wonder what happened to her career.

10. Kirsten Dunst

Kirsten Dunst has never been known as a trendsetter in fashion — and trust us, that is a very good thing. If she was, we’d all be walking mirrors right now. Do you think she looked in a mirror herself before she went out in this monstrosity? And, if she did take a glance at herself, did the reflection repeat itself infinitely? The girl would be lost immediately upon entering a house of mirrors at a carnival — it’d be like a dog chasing its tail.

And then there’s this — from the Spiderman 3 premier in Madrid. Kirsten must not think much of the Spaniards, because she is insulting them by wearing this. It does pose a thought-provoking question, though: how much more brown would that be? And the answer is none, none more brown.

9. Jennifer Lopez

People have long debated J-Lo’s talent as a musician. She started off strong, but slowly devolved into a one-dimensional pop princess, before kind of, sort of rediscovering her roots. Her fashion sense, however, is as hit-or-miss as they come. Sometimes, she looks very nice.

Other times, she’ll look like a member of the Bee Gees. It’s not like this outfit is hideous — it just looks hideous on her. Can you imagine going to a club and seeing someone wearing that and saying, “damn, she looks good!” No. It’s more like, “damn, she looks like a man!” Hey, J-Lo. John Travolta called. He wants his suit back.

8. Sienna Miller

Does Sienna Miller dress herself? Hopefully, the answer is yes. Otherwise, she has a serious stylist issue. This outfit is the very definition of “too much information.” Sienna, you’re hot. We get it. But please, for the love of good taste, put on a skirt or some pants. Guys may be attracted to slutty-dressing women, but this just goes way over the top.

Yeah, someone probably told her to wear this. To which she should have responded: uh, no. Do the opposite of what we did for the Pink photo. Start at the top and scan down. Looking okay, looking okay, top looks good….OH MY GOD! What is that covering her legs? Is that…crinkled tin foil? Thankfully, no one wrapped last night’s dinner in Sienna’s dress.

7. Kanye West

You’ll notice that this list is filled with female celebrities. Why is that, you ask? Well, first off, they’re the most highly scrutinized for their fashion. The second is because it’s so much easier to dress yourself when you’re a guy. Certain things always work: jeans, button downs, blazers, polos, etc. As long as the colors don’t clash, male celebs are good to go. Usually, Kanye is, too, but he’s made his share of faux pas. This with the hair. Is he serious? Is looking like a fool really worth the dough from Fendi?

This is much worse, though. One can only pray this was taken at a halloween party. Otherwise, it may be the single ugliest sweatshirt ever worn on a day other than October 31. You’re better than that Kanye, even if you do advertise with your head.

6. Courtney Love

At this point, you might be wondering: “Uh, guys, Courtney Love? She’s atrocious!” And you’re right. That’s a natural extension of being a cracked out former rocker. It seems to just get worse and worse as time moves on, too. How many things can you point out wrong with that outfit? Advice, Court: no one wants to see your flabby boobs.

While that last outfit was certainly worse than this one, it’s still downright ugly. She looks like a fat Barbara Streisand. Really, Courtney, do you have to embarrass your daughter like that? Poor Francis Bean. Hey, at least she looks like her father (eerily so).

5. Pink

Apprently, Pink likes to let loose in her spare time. Knowing full well that the Paparazzi are lurking around every corner, she still decides to forego the makeup when taking the dog for a walk. Big mistakey, Pink. It’s no secret that she’s not very attractive sans makeup, but it doesn’t mean she has to keep reminding people.

And who the hell dressed her in this? If you look at her from the waist down, it actually looks halfway decent. Keep scanning upwards, though, and you’re wondering if she’s on her way to roll a few frames down at the local bowling alley. Though, the boots probably wouldn’t fly there.

4. Mischa Barton

One would think that the star of The OC would be pretty fashion conscious. Apparently, though, Mischa Barton doesn’t have that mindset. Either that, or Rachel Zoe is trying to ruin her. While Mischa isn’t always a fashion disaster (hey, we have to give credit where credit is due), her lows are pretty far down there. Not at Clarkson/Spears level, but pretty damn close. Sriously, who tucks in a band t-shirt? Hell, who wears a Fleetwood Mac shirt?

The worst part is that beyond having a high-profile stylist in Zoe, she used to date Johnny Wujek, who of course is a celeb stylist. Maybe her hideous dresses are a way of getting back at him? And what is that, a deck umbrella she’s wearing? Invite the neighbors over, it’s time for a barbeque!

3. Mary Kate

Ahhhh! It’s a witch! Burn her! Oh, wait, it’s just Mary-Kate Olsen and her much-loved witch shoes. While they’re pretty brutal, it’s not like the rest of her wardrobe selections are much better. That is, by the way, just a flannel shirt and leggings. As far as we know, there’s nothing else under there. Beyond that, her hair is hideous, too. Is there anything about Mary-Kate that says “good fashion sense”? Looks more like “crack whore” from here.

Apparently, the New York Times thinks so. They granted Mary-Kate a fashion column, if you can even call it that. It’s about two paragraphs, and the essence of it is, “me, me, me.” However, she does admit that she doesn’t have a stylist, which goes a long way in explaining her stylistic ineptitude.

2. Kelly Clarkson

She wasn’t always this bad. See? That’s a pretty normal looking outfit, and to be honest, she looks very attractive. Such were the post-American Idol days for Kelly Clarkson. She was young, attractive, and famous. So what the hell happened? Did she fire her stylist? Because if she did, she should go crawling back.

Part of the problem is that Kelly got a little pudgy over the past couple of years. While that’s not terrible in itself (though it hurts Clarkson a bit more, because of her usually skimpy stage outfits), it doesn’t mean she has to dress like she’s pregnant — or wearing Cousin Itt’s hair. This goes beyond bad style. She would easily be the worst-dressed celebrity if not for Britney.

1. Britney Spears

There has quite possibly been no worse crime of style than Britney’s current wardrobe choices of cowboy boots and whatever she finds in the laundry pile. This is no knock on cowboy boots; they can be quite fashionable indeed. This is a knock on the way Britney wears them. It makes her look like an out of work go go dancer (and that say a lot, considering the looks of some go go dancers).

The real question: how could anyone look in a mirror and possibly think they look good wearing that? Don’t her friends and family say anything about it? You’d figure someone would have the courtesy to say, “uh, Brit, you look terrible.” Alas, she continues to make a fool of herself. Hey, at least she hasn’t fallen out of the spotlight…